tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post2414010126269117761..comments2024-03-23T12:04:33.354+00:00Comments on Serendipity Reviews: When Did My Threshold of Acceptancy Change?serendipity_vivhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-77636496773880144382012-04-30T12:36:11.291+01:002012-04-30T12:36:11.291+01:00Girl, The Flowers in the Attic series was like a r...Girl, The Flowers in the Attic series was like a right of passage for my generation of readers here in Florida. (Did you read the rest of them? #creepy<br /><br />I am one of the MANY who definitely think that you should read Forbidden because it is Teh Awsum but understand who your position changed due to children.<br /><br />I have a double master's in therapy/counseling and if I wasn't teacher I would definitely want to work with sex offenders. I think, in part, it's because I DON'T have any children nor do I WANT any. That sorta gives me the opportunity to stay emotionally segregated. <br /><br />Also, might I add if we all read and enjoyed and believed in the same books our blogging and real world would hardly be interesting. One of the things that calls me to the blogging community is that I can have intellectual discussions with fellow readers about boundaries and (dis)likes.<br /><br />Hats off to you Viv. Keep being honest and sharing these parts about yourself.christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16749333368560606659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-59948141462193527162012-04-20T17:25:59.162+01:002012-04-20T17:25:59.162+01:00Viv, it's really brave of you to put your feel...Viv, it's really brave of you to put your feelings out there like that. I speak from the viewpoint of someone without children. I completely understand your feelings changing once you have children. This may sound strange but as you know I love my dog like you love your girls and I would do anything to protect him. I can see you wanting to protect the girls and even yourself from reading disturbing things like that. I myself do not pick up books tht have incest in them, not because I couldn't read it because I could but more because it really does bother me. That being said if a book is well done and can enlighten a child or teen who may in fact be going through a similar situation then i think that book is a powerful tool. Does that make sense? <br /><br />As for Flowers in the Attic, I too loved that book. I know it was incest but the circumstances were different than had it been, let's say, parent/child. I don't think it makes it right, I just think that story shows what happens when kids are thrown together with only each other to lean on. It's a bit different to me. <br /><br />Anyhow, you're right in needing to let your girls experience more of the reality of the world but at the same time I applaud you looking out for them as you do. There is plenty of time for them to learn the harsh realities.Darlenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15387389557243960084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-30631948604155399852012-04-20T15:23:47.231+01:002012-04-20T15:23:47.231+01:00That truly is one of the best trait of character a...That truly is one of the best trait of character a human being can have. Zoƫ is right and I just want to say that I agree 100 % with her eloquent comment.Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11340060809181439236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-82993718937139622252012-04-20T15:16:04.856+01:002012-04-20T15:16:04.856+01:00I forgot to say that I love reading your post :) Y...I forgot to say that I love reading your post :) You bring up some good points, Vivienne. Now I'm off to read all of the other comments :) Have a great weekend!Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11340060809181439236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-65444826862780392872012-04-20T14:43:26.548+01:002012-04-20T14:43:26.548+01:00I do not read books with incest in them, it makes ...I do not read books with incest in them, it makes me sick and that feeling has only gotten worse since I became a mother. However I would not want to keep books that speak of such important subjects from my children. We never know who might suffer under this kind of abuse, so I think it is healthy for children/young adults to read this. Get the message that adults aren't ever allowed to do this to kids and that they can get help.<br /><br />I think it is wonderful that literature addresses all aspects of humanity, especially the dark ones. Even if I don't want to read books on the subject I feel that they are immensely important. Just like you I feel that I get enough of these kind of horror stories on a day to day basis via the news.Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11340060809181439236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-84997583389326261132012-04-19T13:32:51.798+01:002012-04-19T13:32:51.798+01:00I remember reading flowers in the attic as a teena...I remember reading flowers in the attic as a teenager and it didn't shock me, but looking back as an adult my perception has changed. I feel I have an open mind and like you said initially I wouldn't want my children reading such things, but, this does happen in live and isn't all bad. I think as long as there is an appropriate warning on the book and the parent feels it's age appropriate for the child then it should be included as a subject. There are many worse things out there. It is our instinct to protect and shelter our children from the horrors of the world, but we cannot. We can guide them and help them prepare for the world out there but we cannot wrap them in cotton wool for as much as we'd like to. I've actually learned a lot about myself reading this post, so thank you. I too don't read any books that are remotely like real life. Especially anything with children being hurt. Excellent post Viv xxSusan Mannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09445232725431784781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-86890612913053897852012-04-19T12:42:04.592+01:002012-04-19T12:42:04.592+01:00*Tips hat to Viv* First off ultimate respect to yo...*Tips hat to Viv* First off ultimate respect to you for writing such a brave and controversial post! All I have to say on the subject of banned books or parental screening etc is that as the childs parent you have EVERY right to protect/raise your child in the way that you think is best. I never think it's right when people have a moan about parents not letting their kids read certain books, I mean who are we to say what YOUR kids can and can't do? HOWEVER I do have a problem when other people from the outside try to control or ban what OTHER PEOPLES children should be reading, you know the type who try to get "inappropriate books" out of schools and libraries. By all means you have every right to keep tabs on what your own kids are reading but when you take that right away from other people's children? That is not okay.<br /><br />I don't think you should have to apologise for not wanting to read something that will make you uncomfortable and I say that as someone who read and LOVED Forbidden. You have every right to your opinion and reading or not reading what you want. Like I said before the only time that would not be okay is if you were trying to persuade everyone that reading these types of books was a bad thing which I don't think you were trying to do at all. Each to their own I say, with this type of topic I don't think there is a right or wrong opinion everyone has different thresholds and as we have to respect the right of the people who read books we might not agree with, people also have to respect the right of the people who don't want themselves or their child/ren to read them.<br /><br />*big hugs*Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02384805896552240183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-45381704042129668242012-04-18T18:12:10.881+01:002012-04-18T18:12:10.881+01:00Vivienne, what an articulate, thoughtful, and hear...Vivienne, what an articulate, thoughtful, and heartfelt post! <br /><br />I consider myself liberal, yet I do at times, see the benefits in "censoring" what our children read, or at least what <i>my</i> children read. Motherhood does change you. Out of necessity we adopt the role of protector to our children. Honestly, I do not want my children exposed to all the evils of the world, especially when they are so young. With respect to this topic, I'd have to examine the role of incest in specific books--was it just to grab attention, or did it have a higher purpose?Sukohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11893742747135555499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-59069249018913527842012-04-18T15:43:13.138+01:002012-04-18T15:43:13.138+01:00Isn't it interesting how becoming a parent so ...Isn't it interesting how becoming a parent so wholly changes your world view? I've found my opinion on several subjects changed after having kids and that my tolerance level for books, movies and tv changed, too - like you in that I can't handle stories where children (or parents) die now. It's just too much. And yes, sci-fi fantasy is a great escape! Great post!Jen E @ mommablogsalothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06131726447353529092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-46994644649516785372012-04-18T14:27:46.201+01:002012-04-18T14:27:46.201+01:00Thanks Susie. I appreciate having the perspective ...Thanks Susie. I appreciate having the perspective of authors on this subject.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-60350681891031977102012-04-18T14:11:00.792+01:002012-04-18T14:11:00.792+01:00Great post, Viv. I too remember reading 'Flowe...Great post, Viv. I too remember reading 'Flowers in the Attic' - the Twilight of the day! And I completely understand that having children changes what you choose to read yourself, even if that can slide into over-protectiveness. Really thought-provoking stuff, thank you for exploring your own thought-processes for us.Susie Dayhttp://www.susieday.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-39196219816125971042012-04-18T13:52:35.823+01:002012-04-18T13:52:35.823+01:00Very true. Thanks Mandy.Very true. Thanks Mandy.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-49621300888484553492012-04-18T13:48:11.934+01:002012-04-18T13:48:11.934+01:00Viv, this is a very honest and thought provoking p...Viv, this is a very honest and thought provoking post. It's brilliant, and I'm sure it rings true for many of us. As long as we can send our children out into the World safe in the knowledge that we will always be able to offer continual guidance and support, then I think we will have done our job well. It's the thought that as adolescents and young adults they might think we are not interested any more, that I find worrying.Mandy Armstrongnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-65710195671973662542012-04-18T13:45:52.983+01:002012-04-18T13:45:52.983+01:00Thanks Cait. I needed a whole night to get my thou...Thanks Cait. I needed a whole night to get my thoughts around the conversation from yesterday. I felt it needed to be addressed.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-20632447985982208782012-04-18T13:39:11.315+01:002012-04-18T13:39:11.315+01:00This is a wonderful post Viv. I think it's imp...This is a wonderful post Viv. I think it's important to draw a distinction between topics that shouldn't be covered, and topics we might not personally want to read about. I don't want to read a book about a girl whose cat gets run over, but that doesn't mean that book shouldn't be written/read. I think it's really great that you've looked inside yourself and evaluated where your strong reaction came from, that's a very balanced and admirable thing to do.<br /><br />I think we all have an innate desire to protect those who are younger/less grown up than ourselves. I worked in Waterstones for 2 months and always wonderered about the suitability of books I was selling. I would consider myself to be a very laid back person and one totally opposed to censure, yet when I sold 'Dark Inside' to an 11 year old (with his mother present) part of me DID want to snatch it back from what was admittedly a very mature, very advanced reader. I think we do forget what we were like when we were teens, and what we could have handled reading. <br /><br />Really great post Viv!Caithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185442524972510158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-84792358928952833612012-04-18T13:08:24.552+01:002012-04-18T13:08:24.552+01:00I have amended the post as I would hate to be misc...I have amended the post as I would hate to be miscontrued. Again. LOL.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-16433379272557510322012-04-18T13:05:09.981+01:002012-04-18T13:05:09.981+01:00Oh yes, I totally understand that - I just wanted ...Oh yes, I totally understand that - I just wanted to point out that incestuous relationships aren't necessarily abusive.Keris Staintonhttp://dellasays.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-27371497599331938092012-04-18T13:03:11.567+01:002012-04-18T13:03:11.567+01:00Thank you.Thank you.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-91704002321787565932012-04-18T12:57:10.320+01:002012-04-18T12:57:10.320+01:00I hope I don't come across as seeing 'ince...I hope I don't come across as seeing 'incest' and 'abuse' as the same because I really don't think that at all. I just find the whole concept of 'incest' uncomfortable reading matter.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-30576942658485137932012-04-18T12:54:52.359+01:002012-04-18T12:54:52.359+01:00Thank you Anna. It seems we may have similar views...Thank you Anna. It seems we may have similar views on this matter.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-631048501355820762012-04-18T12:53:49.383+01:002012-04-18T12:53:49.383+01:00I can understand your uneasiness concerning books ...I can understand your uneasiness concerning books containing LGBT, but incest is an entirely different matter. It is a subject I personally find really uncomfortable with my kids reading this. At the moment I know they are not mature enough to deal with that topic.In this context of this book, as I understand it has been dealt with very well, however I would still read it before allowing my children to read it. <br />As to LGBT books I would hand those out gladly to be read by teens.serendipity_vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156013023056026525noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-79752222215733085652012-04-18T12:51:50.183+01:002012-04-18T12:51:50.183+01:00This is a really wonderful post, Viv. I feel exact...This is a really wonderful post, Viv. I feel exactly the same as you regarding books featuring children being hurt in any way - can't read them (although I was talked into reading Room and I loved it), but you seem to equate 'incest' with 'abuse' whereas the novels you mention - Flowers in the Attic and Forbidden - aren't abusive relationships at all, they're consensual relationships that happen to be between siblings. (At least I'm fairly sure they are - haven't read Flowers for years and have only read the sample of Forbidden.)Keris Staintonhttp://dellasays.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-7736776144383122792012-04-18T12:32:24.939+01:002012-04-18T12:32:24.939+01:00Brlliant and brave post. Thank you. I completely u...Brlliant and brave post. Thank you. I completely understand how parenthood changes so many of our perceptions, and so dramatically. I, too find it very difficult to watch or read anything which involves children coming to harm in anyway. I remember not long after my first daughter was born, I had to leave the room when the film version of Lord of the Flies came on the telly because I found I could not bear the thought of children being cruel to each other.<br />I agree with you about guidance, and I hope I will bring my daughters up to make sound judgements about what they feel comfortable reading.<br />Thanks again xAnna Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12819871419555450689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-42945733555048993742012-04-18T12:31:05.256+01:002012-04-18T12:31:05.256+01:00Interesting post, Viv!
If I'm honest, I'm...Interesting post, Viv!<br /><br />If I'm honest, I'm always a little uneasy when parents say they don't want their children to read books on a certain subject. I think the reason it makes me wary is that it's most frequently heard in relation to books with LGBT characters, as though the very fact that one character (for example) falls in love with someone of the same gender automatically makes a book age-inappropriate for a teenage audience. Whilst I can understand why parents may feel particular content (e.g. sex or violence) is unsuitable, it worries me that some people seem to assume an entire subject is off-limits, even though the actual content may be less adult than many mainstream boy-meets-girl books. <br /><br />In principle, I can see why parents feel protective of their young readers in this way. However, I'm sure those who sought to ban Harry Potter thought they were acting in the best interests of their children. One parent's protective instinct is another parent's indoctrination. <br /><br />In this context, I guess I can see why you might have sparked some strong reactions on Twitter. Personally though, I feel that the parents who ask themselves the kind of questions you're asking are the ones who are most likely to be getting it right.Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06483030255023873716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963292547354990076.post-14641042289869445392012-04-18T12:10:35.607+01:002012-04-18T12:10:35.607+01:00Great post. i have actually not come across this i...Great post. i have actually not come across this in YA books, and glad for it. It did happen in a book I recently read, but that was an adult bookBlodeueddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03435479623560871881noreply@blogger.com